Surely, we've got a million of THESE!

This guy rushes into the bar and says to the bartender: “Gimme shot of the very best stuff you’ve got.”

So, the bartender sets down a shot glass and pours out a full dose.

Before he can barely finish, though, the guy tosses back the drink and slams the shot glass back down on the bar.

“Make that a double!” he barks, and the bartender pours out another.

Once again, the guy gulps down the drink and slams the shot glass back on the back.

“Hit me again,” he says, but the bartender balks.

“You need to slow down a bit, pal,” he says.

But the guy looks the bartender directly in the eye and says, “Believe me, friend, you’d drink like this, too, if you found out that you’ve got what I’ve got.”

“Oh,” the bartender said with a genuine air of concern. “What have you got?”

“Only seventy-five cents,” said the guy, reaching into his coat pocket. He dropped the three quarters onto the bar, then rushed out even faster than he had come in.