The Morning After the End of the World

Sheesh! For the first time since I started this blogaga, yesterday was the first day that I neglected my responsibilities. Sure, I could say that I was partying like it was 1999, but the truth is: I was not. In fact, I was too busy putting away all my hoodies and dungarees for the season. Hah! Who knew that the morning after the end of the world, the headline would read: HELL FREEZES OVER! Brrrrrrr.

So, here I am ready to pick up where I left off. And today is the birthday of Thomas Edward John, Jr. (who should not be confused with John Edward Thomas, the first known child of Tom Brady . . . whose initials are J.E.T. Nice going, Bridget.) But, I digress.

Yes, today IS Tommy John's birthday, and he will forever go down in history as one of the two things that Red Sox Blabcaster Joe Castiglione feels obligated to mention in every single broadcast. No, we're not talking the haiku of Sean McDonough, or Castiglione's fetish for the word "cutter." We are speaking, of course, about Tommy John surgery.

As everyone knows (cough!), Tommy John surgery is when someone (like Jake Delhomme) undergoes a surgical procedure that replaces a ligament in the medial elbow with a tendon from some other part of the body. It's called Tommy John surgery, because Castilione probably would have a tough time saying "Jake Delhomme," day in and day out.

This should not be confused with Dr Jake Quimby surgery used to treat Barfly's Elbow. You could look up that procedure on your own.

So, Happy Birthday, Tommy. We know you can blow out all the candles on your cake, because the latest pitcher to return from Tommy John surgery is the Twins' Joe Nathan . . . and he's blown his last two saves! Still, Nathan is not at all worried, because he knows it's not the end of the world.