There are 8 Million Stories in the Naked City

You're really, REALLY old if you remember "The Naked City," which ended each broadcast with the line: "There are 8 million stories in the Naked City. And this has been one of them."

Well, from the Naked City today came word of yet another tragic tale, this one about the suicide of one Joseph Brooks. He's the guy that wrote and directed the absolutely dreadful motion picture called "You Light Up My Life." And with it he wrote the even MORE dreadful title song, which has been covered by everyone apparently except for Lady Gaga.

And those of us who were alive in 1977 can recall just how dreadful that summer was when seemingly every other song blaring out of radios all along the beach was Debby (Pat's daughter) Boone singing that goddam song. (And every song in between that one seemed to be the Cantina song from "Star Wars.") Apparently, this was the frontier of pounding the bejeezus out of a song to get people to see a movie. Or, in this case, to avoid it.

For all that primitive radio terrorism, Mr. Brooks copped both an Academy Award AND a Grammy for the annoying tune. 

Sadly, however, it appears that Mr. Brooks yesterday committed suicide in Manhattan by pulling a plastic bag over his head and pumping it full of helium.

You know me. I could say a lot of things here, but the word "karma" does come to mind. At last, Brooks must have realized just how all of us sunworshippers along West Dennis Beach in 1977 felt every time his song came on 68 WRKO or 77 WABC. Unfortunately, we did not have access to any helium without driving to King's Department Store in Hyannis. Yes, suicide is a terrible thing. But so was that annoying tune. Despite the song, may he rest in peace.

In retrospect, I also understand now just why every bar on the Cape in those days had a mandatory 2 for 1 happy hour. Long live the Swampfox!