Smoke From A Distant Fire

The way that I sometimes carry on about the hapless sox (no longer deserving of any uppercase spelling), you'd think that I really gave a rat's ass about the team. The fun disappeared once they won the World Series after all those years. Now, though, they're just a bunch of mercenaries hired by J. Henry to entertain and amuse the Beautiful People. To them, baseball is not a pastime, but a bottom line: merchandise is more important than the game. And the game's just a promotional gimmick to attract you to the advertising.

After all, if the sox uniform is a blue cap, why do we need all those variations? Fashionistas, baby! Even worse, Maxxinistas! Where you can buy the official crap (with the hologram) cheap! And does anyone wear even ONE red sock? Gone are the days when dads could afford to take their kid(s) to a game and show them how to keep score. (Careful you don't spill salsa on that thing.) Crackerjacks? ha ha ha ha!

While we're on it, why do I tend to fwow up in my mouth whenever I hear "Sweet Caroline?" You know why. If they MUST sing Neil Effin Diamond, why not "Cracklin' Rose"? We could drink Lancer's and the Beautiful People could sip chablis. 

Oh, looky! A jumbotron!

Puh-leez. The sox are sucking, so let's truck in The New Kids on the Block to be introduced by Ben Affleck. Which reminds me, how's that Papelbon jig thing going over these days? And the Dropkick Murphys? Sure wish I had me one of them REAL duckboats from Vịnh Cam Ranh. We could tear up the infield and start the season anew. Better yet, we could burn down the house!

All of which brings me to the true topic of the day, which is my homage to Christian Friedrich (or Frederick) Wilhelm von der Ahe, the St. Louis saloon owner who built himself a ballpark in order to sell more beer. This was the first ballpark ever to serve suds, adding even more glory to America's pastime. God bless you, Chris.

Sadly, though, it was on this day in 1898 when his Sportsman's Park burnt to the ground after someone in the stands dropped a lighted cigar somewhere below the seats during the second game of the season. The St. Louis Browns were hosting Chicago when the fire began sometime in the second inning. As people were standing up to avoid the smoke and flames, others were yelling for them to "Sit down, yer blocking the view!"

When flames erupted, the umpires decided to halt the game in the second inning, and some players went into the stands to help people out onto the field. When all was said and done, about a hundred people had been hospitalized; three had broken legs from leaping to safety. Serious as some burns had proven to be, no one succombed to the injuries. Financially, though, von der Ahe was done. His beer venue had burned to the ground, along with his saloon and most of his financial dealings.

So, when you hear someone today bother to even mention Ye Olde Towne Team, explain to them that things could be a lot worse. After all, the chablis might not be chilled.

Whew! Got all THAT out of my system and now I can enjoy the rest of the day. Let's go get a PBR.